Man bør lytte til dem som tragedien rammer. Presten Julia Nicholson mistet sin 24 år gamle datter Jenny i London 7/7 på Edgware Road tube station. En toneangivende del av kirken går inn for tilgivelse. Men Julia har funnet det så vanskelig at hun nå har måttet forlate sitt embete. Hun finner prestegjerningens krav om tilgivelse uforenlig med sitt liv som mor.
When the jihadists struck in London last July, the death toll meant far more than statistics for Julie Nicholson: Her 24-year-old daughter, Jenny, was one of the 52 victims to perish along with four attackers.
Since then, Nicholson has struggled with the rage and pain so familiar to those who lost loved ones in the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks in the United States. But there was an added poignancy. Nicholson is an ordained minister in the Church of England and now she has resigned from her duties as a parish priest in western England because her inner turmoil cannot be squared with the forgiveness she is supposed to preach.
“Forgiving another human being for violating your child is almost beyond human capabilities,” she said. “It’s very difficult for me to stand behind an altar and celebrate Eucharist - Communion - and lead people in words of peace and reconciliation and forgiveness when I feel very far from that myself. So for the time being the wound in me is having to heal.”
Denne saken reiser noen alvorlige spørsmål om dagens kristne forståelse. Det er som om den ikke greier å henge med. For vi kan vel ikke basere en tro på at den ikke skal bli prøvet?
“Can I forgive them for what they did? No, I cannot. And I don’t wish to. I said in the early weeks, and still now, say the name of my daughter’s murderer, Mohammad Sidique Khan, every day,” she said, referring to the bomber who killed her daughter.
De to unge døde representerer to diamentralt motsatte syn. Jenny var et menneske som utstrålte livsglede. Mange ble berørt av hennes død.
In a tribute, the Bishop of Bristol, the Rt Rev Michael Hill, a family friend, said that Miss Nicholson had been a “beautiful, intelligent, vivacious young woman for whom we had such hopes of a bright future”.
He added: “Our grieving is made more difficult by two further factors. Firstly, there is the suddenness of her death. Jenny and those going about their everyday business on July 7 were taken or maimed in a moment. That leaves us with the feeling that no one who lost a loved one on that fateful day had the opportunity to say goodbye. Things have been left unsaid and that is very difficult for those left behind.
“Secondly, the manner of her death. There are few human words that can adequately express what we feel about people who indiscriminately carry out apparent acts of senseless violence against innocent, civilian populations and unbelievably do so in the name of God. Such delusion, such evil, is impossible for us to begin to comprehend.“
De eksistensielle spørsmålene blir man ikke ferdig med, for de er dagens politiske grunnspørsmål: Elsker man livet eller døden?
At man ofrer seg selv og andre i Guds navn er en dobbel blasfemi, både mot Gud og livet.
Dette ble for mye for en prest å bære, og hun måtte forlate kirken. Sier det også noe om at kirken ikke lenger kan romme virkeligheten?